What if I told you, you do indeed need people? I don’t know if it was the emo Tumblr posts, my chemical romance or my teenage angst that internalized the notion that I don’t need anyone. That I can do make it on my own just fine. If I could go back and tell that naive girl that she didn’t have to bear it all alone. I would. I would tell her that it’s okay to need people and to ask for help. In fact, how great it is to rely on people and letting people help sometimes.
Being it a teenager or an adult, everyone has always repeated this mantra like something that would save them “I don’t need people”. Don’t get me wrong, I get where this notion originally came from standing up for oneself and being independent and resourceful. And these are all admirable characters that everyone must possess. After all, this is one large scary world we live in and every man for himself, makes sense.
But I believe that in the chase on working so much on becoming independent so that we wouldn’t be left behind, we have forgotten a very fundamental lesson that made humanity’s success possible in the evolutionary process as a species. The cognitive leap that early humans took was due to the cooperation and them relying on their fellows.
Increasingly, humans feel isolated in this huge world, because they feel like they have to bear the burden of their existence alone. Well, what if I told you do need people? That there is so shame at all in asking help from people, for letting people in, or to need someone?
And the biggest argument against my claim will, of course, come from people who have trust issues the size of Suleiman Ranges (yes I give local references). And here is where B.F Skinner, one of the founding fathers of the Behaviorism, comes to our rescue. According to him, every behavior is learned and how every behavior is learned, can be unlearned. Your trust issues are learned behaviors that were rewarding for you because they kept protecting you from getting hurt. So they got reinforced, and you kept relying on them.
But that is the magic of knowing the principles of psychology, you can manipulate yourself. What if you unlearn your patterns of behavior that keeps you from turning away from people? What if you tried letting people in and find it rewarding.
I am not saying you ask everyone who you find walking around for help ( though you can do that). What I mean is that you don’t have to close yourself off to the world. Some people love to help, who are willing to build others up. You just have to try to see the good side of humanity for once. Realize the charm you can only find in a human connection made over help. The person who gets recruited to help you will feel a much better human being for being a service to a fellow human being and you will feel less alone.
You might call me an idealist or an optimistic fool. But I am just merely a product of what I have gone through. And what I have realized that relying on people hasn’t made me weaker but a stronger person. Only because in the face of the worst adversary, I know that I don’t have to face them alone, rather I have people who stand behind me gives me strength. I sincerely believe in the concept that whenever you shall believe, shall you get. I believe that people are willing to be there and they are.
The only thing you have to do is to be sincere and believe. If you’re not sincere, if you have negative intentions towards people, if you intend to just exploit someone’s goodwill, then you will merely hurt yourself in the process. And as I said before, you have to believe in the good in people’s hearts. Additionally, it goes without saying that “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. If you want people to help you, be ready to offer the same thing.